Yesterday at the toddler Mommy & Me class at Mommy fitness, we talked about the emotional aspects of motherhood. The adjustments that take place when you become a mom: the challenges, the joys, the support we all need, and the changes to our self-identity.
The timing could not have been more perfect, as my husband can attest that I have been a particularly emotional mom in the past week. With Everly turning 1 in just a month, the reality that my daughters are growing up is starting to set in.
The past three years have been a blur. Pregnancy. Baby. Pregnancy. Baby – it’s all happened so fast!
When I replay everything in my head, it’s like watching a movie on fast-forward, making a few stops at iconic moments: holding my girls for the first time, celebrating Eleanor’s first steps as she pulled her caterpillar toy behind her, watching Everly wave “bye bye” as her daddy left for work.
But so many small things have been lost. It’s difficult for me to remember how Eleanor felt curled up against me as I rocked her to bed at night, or the sound of her voice when she first began talking. Even Everly, who is still so little, I have a hard time remembering as the tiny baby she was just a year ago.
I suppose it’s normal. To be living in the now and having the small day-to-day moments slowly fade, but it’s hard for me to accept. “Am I being present enough?” “Am I missing everything?”
I want it all to stay crystal clear. To always remember how my girls smelled, the words they mispronounced, the jokes they thought were funny.
Pretty soon I’ll be a mom without a baby – I’ll be the mom to two little GIRLS. We have so much to look forward to together, but if anyone knows how to bottle up babyhood, please let me know :)