I’ve been pretty silent on here this week. Overall l have really enjoyed my 2nd trimester, but this past week has been a struggle. For the first time, I really, REALLY have begun to understand the dramatic change my body is undergoing. I have new aches, none of my clothes fit me right, the number on the scale keeps climbing, everyday tasks leave me winded, and the smallest wrong movement can send me into days of pain. Uggggggghhhhhhhhh.
Whew. Glad that’s off my chest.
I HATE complaining – especially about something as much of a blessing as pregnancy. I wouldn’t trade my experience carrying my baby girl for anything, but some days are harder to get through than others.
I slipped on the ice a couple weekends ago and wound up with horrible abdominal pain for 4 days – all I wanted was a hot, HOT bath to soothe my aching muscles, but I settled for a warm compress on my back instead. That was when I realized that my body was truly different. Something as simple as slipping (not even falling) on the ice sent my overprotective mommy hormones into overdrive. My muscles overreacted, and I felt the effects for days to come.
My weight is a struggle. I have NEVER been this heavy in my life, and it’s more than just a number on the scale. Every pound I gain literally weighs me down just a little more. I now feel every extra pound as I go about seemingly simple household tasks. I am not used to feeling winded from doing laundry or bringing in the groceries. I am trying to be diligent about exercise and need to continue to make it a priority for baby and me.
Body image is a whoooooole different issue. I can’t tell you how weird it is to look in the mirror and not see my waist. It’s GONE! I am s-o-l-i-d. I was joking with my sister last night that I have suddenly turned into a brick house. I mean, I knew I would get a belly, but I guess I never considered the part where your waist disappears in the process. You’d think I’d at least be happy about my growing bust, but growing 3 cup sizes in 4 months has made me reconsider the perks of being small chested. I’m definitely looking forward to fitting into my old bras again :)
I think this week was just a turning point in my pregnancy. For the first time, I can really see (and feel) everything my body is going through – and it’s a wonderful thing. Last night I was sitting on the couch with Ruby on my lap and J by my side and Baby M started to kick. J was able to reach over and feel her little movements too. It was such an amazing feeling to have a little quiet time as a family. That’s when every achey muscle, every extra pound gained, and every too tight pair of jeans is 110% worth it.