I took an unintentional (but necessary) break yesterday. I didn’t open my laptop, stayed off Facebook and Twitter, napped with Eleanor on my chest, and had an all-around awesome day!
We visited Santa at Omaha Children’s Museum which proved to be the most terrifying experience of Eleanor’s life, but we still had fun dancing to the Christmas music, watching the “magic snow” and talking to the big guy from a good 6 feet radius (“Hi Santa!” “Ho Ho Ho!” “Bye Santa!”).
It was exactly what I needed – I’ve been in a bit of a “pregnancy funk” lately. Most of the time, I find pregnancy to be a joy. I feel calm, in control, happy, and at peace.
And then there are the times the fear sets in. The fear that something may go wrong. The fear that I’m failing as a mother to Eleanor. The fear that I’ll never be able to handle two.
I know these fears are normal – what mama wouldn’t worry about these things? But when they get too consuming, I have to take a step back and refocus on what I can control – being happy, and loving both my babies unconditionally.